Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
