Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
BRING THE BAGELS
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
my liver is dry heaving
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
