K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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