Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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