I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
