wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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