So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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