come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
