I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I think I just sharted jello shots
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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