I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Of course I have a pirate flag
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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