Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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