Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
