is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
