she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
