I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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