The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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