Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
