If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
