WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
