is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
