if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
look no pants
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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