I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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