why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
