why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
