I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
