Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
