The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize