Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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