Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
