sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
