can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
