I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
