I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
