This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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