Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize