am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
