I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
