I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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