Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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