Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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