ya dads aren't the best wingmen
someone get that fucking seahorse.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
