I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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