you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
