ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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