There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
