Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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