Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
