I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
