im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize