the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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