it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
