Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
