If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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