she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
