Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
