their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
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Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
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You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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