it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
