with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
