Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
