is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
