Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
bring money and cleavage
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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