Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
