i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
