My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
