I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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